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November 23, 2013 / another1ofthose

That is HOPE!

“They are animals”- It was the first thing I heard as a friend opened the door and let me in with a smile.
As I entered the appartment, words of hate and disgust echoed in my ears. My brain didn’t need time to process what I just heard to know what was going on, as I was accustomed to hearing them and I’ve grown resistant to the pain they caused before.
Walking into the living room where a dozen of people were seated, I was welcomed with smiles; I know they all love me, and I know that all of them consider me the special friend who helps them, advise them and stand by their sides in times of need, sorrow and joy. But why are they talking bad about me? Why don’t they understand? Why are they putting on these fake smiles?

One of my close friends pointed at the empty space on her left that she reserved for me as she said: “Come sit here; this side is for us “. In the right corner of the living room sat my closest friends. The 3 of us sat facing the others who outnumbered us by 3 to 1. I was asked about my opinion in the subject they were discussing as i kept hearing the words :”this is not natural-they are disgusting-This is a disease”. At this stage I was no longer facing people I consider as friends. When it comes to my existence, I was facing an enemy! I was not natural.I was disgusting.I was ill.

As I was putting on a fake laugh to hide my deep anger and sorrow, I launched my assault with the only weapons I’ve got. My weapons were not like their bombs that left me homeless in a world of hate. My weapons were not like their bullets that struck me in the chest. My weapons were much more deadly; Mine struck them in the head, in their minds, in their thoughts. My weapons were weapons of knowledge.

They all stood still without saying a word untill someone broke the silence:”you’ve studied well”-while the other decided to defend his lack of knowledge and utter ignorance with a joke that punched me in the face:”You’re just saying that, so we can accept you” and bursted into laughter.

I just laughed as I uttered in my head:”I wish I can say it; I just want you to accept it as much as you want to refuse it”.

I walked out of the room smiling while checking my facebook as a mean to distract my thoughts and to keep away any doubts that the ‘horrific’ joke might be true.

“You’re so perfect! so great! and I love you so much”- this was my best friend’s comment on a post that she shared the day before. As I scrolled down, the post stated:
“I’m not gay, but someone I love is!”

That is hope!

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6 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. witchylisa / Nov 23 2013 5:23 PM

    You got outed?

    • another1ofthose / Nov 23 2013 5:40 PM

      Nope! That was a joke the guy decided to throw :p its gonna take quite some hard work for someone to out me :p

      • witchylisa / Nov 24 2013 4:35 PM

        …Well.. That was realistic

      • another1ofthose / Nov 24 2013 4:48 PM

        That actually happened last week. The guy threw that joke out of stupidity and bcoz he didn’t have anything else to say

  2. blebnani / Jan 11 2014 1:03 PM

    I thought as well that you got outed – in such situation I don’t try to defend LGBT but I try to show how homophobic are disgusting … since being LGBT is not wrong being homophobic is 🙂

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